Wayne Dyer said,

“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.” and I agree with it.

We people, especially the so-called modern people, are  very good at making our lives miserable. It is as easy as adding a dollop of ice cream to our bowl.The only change is ,we add a big dollop of suffering to our day , every single day.

Some of us are masters in  robbing ourselves of our own happiness.Such people do not need enemies.

What we need to become is- ‘the creator and preserver of our own happiness.’

I say ,it is not difficult.Yes, It may take some time to become a habit, but certainly possible.

The only catch is we do it small. Means we start with the small things that are easily possible for us to do. Let’s get on with the small things then;

Hang out with people who will lift you up in life and not drag you down.if you cannot hang out, at least spend more time with people who will lift you up and eventually drop the ones who drag you down from your life.

             Do it small– Find people with a light mindset and be around then. Beginning with hi and hello also helps.

 

Take small steps and make things easy on yourself. You don’t have to  and you cannot be Mr. perfecto or ms. perfecto in order to be happy.

         Do it small– Appreciate yourself for everything that you do. Just compliment yourself .Tell yourself, “you are really good at this!” “You are awesome”. 

You cannot make everyone happy. People will  criticize you. Do not let criticism get under your skin.Rather use the rocks of  criticism to build your own strong house. Now why do I suggest to not let criticism get under your skin? The only reason is that it makes life miserable.cause the subconscious mind gets fed with the negative criticism and pretty much every time the thought drags you down into sadness and self doubt.

Do it small– If somebody criticizes you, just take a minute and ask yourself,’Is the said statement true? Do I agree with it?’ If yes, work on improvement. If not, snap out of it. It’s not worth it.

Shift your focus on yourself.Compare yourself to yourself and not on thinking about what other people have and do. Even if it is your closest family member or friend. You get the best that is already planned for you. Trust in the highest power.

Do it small-  Every time you get into comparison, think of 1 thing that you are grateful to God about and say the thing out loud to yourself. 

Rest is very important. If you keep yourself busy all the time and ignore rest, your body and mind will rebel and unhappiness will start to crop in.

Do it small- Recharge. Take a break. You are entitled for breaks. So go ahead and take them. It can just be a break of doing mindful breathing for 1 min. It helps. Or just look out of the window and enjoy nature, listen to a song maybe. ( a happy one of course!) You know yourself better. So decide the break patterns

An important one is – Do not expect. Everytime you expect you create a wonderful recipe for distress. Simply put: ‘heartache recipe’. 

Do it small- Take whatever you get as a surprise. And strictly avoid the phrases like- you could at least ….., I thought you will……    they are killers.

Help others who are in need even if you are unhappy. Helping brings happiness. 

Do it small-  Share a smile with someone,compliment someone,extend a helping hand in the kitchen maybe, or something else.  

The Last one do good and leave the fruits of goodness in God’s hand.

Do it small- Give food to the stray dogs, say thank you to someone who provides services to you, where a thank you is not required, pray for others and use kind words.

God bless,

Dr. Priya D’souza 

beautifulrays11@gmail.com

Most of us are caught up in the tug of war between who we think we should be and who we actually are; between what we want to do and what we’re actually able to do. In other words we’re at the mercy of our guilt demons. Our feelings of guilt often prevent us from taking care of ourselves. These feelings often stem from unrealistic expectations.
I suggest you to just stop and think about it, you’ll realize that you have
impossible ideals that you have set and strive to live up to. Ideals like
‘I must always put other people’s needs first or ‘I should never disappoint anyone’ & the most used one is- ‘people should not think ill of me.’ These kinds of standards are not only impossible to meet, but they also wreak havoc (being trouble & unhappiness) in your life.
When you let yourself be driven by these guilt demons, you become irritable, grumpy and unable to live a peaceful life. You start to ignore your own needs and the Godzilla starts to bring suffering on you, your entire family, friends and co- workers.

First and foremost, we have to have realistic expectations. I am talking about what you can reasonably expect of yourself. Time and time again, we demand that we act more generously than what we can, give more than what we have to give, and push ourselves beyond our limits. This is a guaranteed recipe for disaster. How long do you think you can function under these con bo certainly not very well. Guilt is a major roadblock in taking care of yourself. You always have a list of what has to be done for others that takes first preference over attending to your needs. Then there’s the fear of disappointing someone if you occasionally make yourself a priority. But stop and consider for a moment: when you put yourself last on the list and allow your guilt to run your life, the person that you continuously disappoint is yourself.
The truth is you have to come first, at least some of the time. I know this probably makes you uncomfortable since it goes against everything you’ve been taught. Yet, the reality is that it’s only if you love and care for yourself, that you will truly be able to love and care for others.
If that’s not motivation enough, taking care of yourself is an essential part of restoring your sanity and creating a life you love. I’m not talking about abandoning your family or your career and becoming completely self- absorbed. What I am suggesting is that you simply bring yourself back into the equation and maintain a healthy balance.
Life is awesome and only if you make yourself a priority, take care of yourself, mentally and physically, will you be able to take care of others, give generously and create a peaceful life for yourself and others.
God bless.
Dr. Priya D’souza

  

Today  I  am going to guide you through how to let go of stress.

Stress , a very common word to hear now a days

Seems difficult? As to how to let of stress?

No it is not. It is a just a matter of choice.

Have you heard the story of a psychologist who was teaching stress management?

Let me tell you, even if you have already heard it or read it before.

A   psychologist once walked around the room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the ‘half empty or half full question’

Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired, how heavy is this glass of water?

Different answers came up of various range.

She replied,’the weight of the glass doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm is definitely going to feel numb and paralyzed. In each case the weight of the glass does not change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.’

Now how does this relate to stress?

Stress and worries in life are like the glass of water. Think about them for a while & nothing happens to me. Think about them for a bit longer and it being to hurt.

And if you think about then all day long, you will surely feel paralyzed- incapable of doing anything.

So now the important question … how to let go of stress?

As i said earlier, it is all about choice.

We all have been given the power to choose. It is all upto you as an individual.

Choose to SNAP out of stress instantly.

The anger, the frustration and nervousness that causes stress can never bring out any solution. On the contrary it causes more damage.

It breaks you down and harms your loved ones.

Please avoid overthinking. It is fruitless.

Tell yourself that lingering to stress for more time will bring only negativity and no outcome.

You will come across people & situations that will give you stress. Take it as a part of life.

Don’t make it your life.

Put all your burdens down. Don’t carry it through the evening and into the night.

Tell yourself ‘I choose not to take stress’.

Learn to put down the glass before it paralyses you. and breaks you

You can do it. This is the power of SELF TALK.

It works.

Remember the choice is yours, ALWAYS.

LIVE A STRESS FREE LIFE. 

God Bless.

Dr. Priya F. D’souza

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton